So i broke.
but now im back
and im more determined and positive than i have been in a long time.
so fuck the world cos im gonna do this :)

water
water
water
water = <3

Let the fasting commence :)

xoxoxox

im think im drinkin to much diet hot chocate :|
o well, its not food i supppose :)
i need to wean myself off of it though lol
xxxxx

Day 3 of my liquid fast
im going strong.
i sort of just thought about it today, and i was thinkin like i actually dont need to eat.
im fine on my diet coke etc.
i think within the next few days i will be at the stage were food makes me feel sick.
i cant wait lol
i am in control and loving it
:)
love to everyone x

Day 2 of my fast / only liquids
im struggling, but i only need to look at myself in the mirror and see what a fat shit i am to realise this HAS to be done.
staying awake all night wendsday and then not eating all day yesterday really took its toll on me.
i was like the most awfullest miserablest emotionalist person on the whole of this earth.
On the plus side i figured if i can get through over 24 hours of no sleep or food, then 2 weeks shouldnt b a probelm, i did a week before, it got easier.
i am going to do an hour on the wii when everyone goes to bed tonight. Probably some jogging, the hula hoop thing, lunges, jacknifes, etc etc.
just to work a sweat up and burn some calories before i go to sleep.
i can do this, i will do this.
i feel so fat in all my clothes. im like living and dying in my velour tracksuit.
iv got a baggy cardigan on today and skinny jeans cos i have to pop out and cant wear the tracksuit AGAIN.
im so uncomfortable in my own skin.
i cried loads last night, my dad really doesnt give a shit and its becoming more obvious as days go by.
ughhh
my family are so fucked up, no wonder im so fucked up.
so i suppose its carry on starving :)

x

so i started my 2 week fast last night at 8pm.
its now 9.30am
i stayed up all night last night after a row with my boyfriend :( ugghh
its also not good because when im tired i crave comfort food :(
i always seem to have insomnia when i fast.
BUUUT i know i will get through today
i feel in control, i know why i want this and im determined to do it. ughh and i put my fake tan on this morning whilst lookin in the mirror....
god my body is disgusting.
i have got to realise that when people say im "to thin" they are just jealous.
Because they want me to be fat.
i have no idea what they class as a normal weight if im "to thin", its a joke.
i will be "to thin" when i think i am, my standards no one elses.
i actually disgust myself how much i let  myself go these past few days. im going to drink low cal hot choclate and fruit juice and diet coke and water for the next few days, just to ease myself into it, then il try a few days on just water :D
bring it on, im ready for it now xx

I am loosing control i cant live like this no more
2day is day 4 of zero control
tommorow i plan to fast for 14 days, 2 weeks. i will do it. i have to.
i will write on here evryday aswell. i am going to start at 12 am tonight.
i cant restrict till i have my control back because it will lead to binge again. i need to get back to the point of food making me feel sick, i need to be scared of food again. i will do it, i no i will, i am determined.
i am strong, i dont need food. x

i need 2 see results!!
i need a scale
i need 2 b thin
i need 2 c bones
i need 2 have control
i need 2 love my life again
i need 2 wake up n realise this will neva happen
xxxxx

arghhhh, i need 2 weigh myseeeeeeeeeeeeeelf.
i am a whale
im guessin im 120, but i dnt no
i hate what im becomin
food is the enemy
and my biggest obsession
my moods r up n down
n im ugly
sooo friggin ugly
:( xxxd

I feel like im gettin absolutley fukin nowhere
y do i have extreme highs sum days
n terrible lows others???
i hate that my ed controls me....x

Hello im new 2 this site, iv had ana 4 2 yrs now, i recoverd and now its back with avengance. im finding it so hard now cos i had 2 put weight on it ws like i ws on 24 hour watch. i have been with my bf 4 4 months now and he knows nothing bout my past etc, he is sssssssssooooooo skinny it makes me sick n he eats so much, iv gtta try hide it from him n its not gna b easy. Jst thought id say hi, would really appreciate sum support, iv been restricting, n from tmrow im fasting
think thin girls xxx